i...am ridiculous

Have you ever had those moments where all you can say about yourself is "i'm ridiculous?" I definitely had one of those moments today. This weekend I've been sicky mc-sick-ing-ton. It was one of those times where you WILL remember being this sick because it doesn't happen often. i woke up and started puking up what my roommate calls "gut juice"-yeah, that yellow stuff mixed with water that makes you just want to stop breathing? we were supposed to go to robertsport and i felt horrible. i made my roommates go without me and i just decided to lie on the couch and not move.

i was pretty bored all weekend since the roommates were gone for 2 days and i was NOT happy. i mean, i'm not having fun with my friends and all i could think of was that this fun weekend wasn't supposed to turn out this way. i was supposed to be at robertsport enjoying this last weekend with 2 of my roommates on the beach and all of a sudden this bug comes out of nowhere. i never have been one to deal well when things go differently than i have planned, but over the past 6 years, i've gotten better, since NOTHING in my life has gone according to plan-and i can't imagine my life if it would have gone according to "plan"...<--yep, there i go contradicting myself again (it's kind of a hobby)

a quote from one of my favourite books, the alchemist came to mind today, which says, "When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day the sun rises". it wasn't as though i thought yesterday was the same as the day before but i didn't appreciate the day for what it was. i undermined the wonderful people who took time out of their schedule to visit me and to check up on me. i forgot that God gave me rest that i obviously needed and would not have gotten otherwise. i have found a renewed love for applesauce.

most of all, even though i strive to win the respect of intellectual people, i remembered that even when i fall short and am ridiculously ridiculous and prove to be everything that is inadequate... for some weird reason the God of the universe just laughs at my shortcomings and reminds me of what really is. He's given me good things in the beauty that exists, in the people that are around me and in everything that is-whether i remember to recognize it or not.