i've always thought of myself as adaptable. i've lived/studied/worked on 4 different continents. that proves adaptability right? yet, i find it harder to live places that are unfamiliar in the states. or maybe it's just harder to live in texas-cause satan lives here too.
see last week i moved here and it just wasn't a good week ya know, my old housing coordinator i worked with as an RA at Pepperdine passed away along with my old pastor on the same day and then on top of it all, i move to texas. i get here and share a room with a girl on campus and it's just a situation where i can't live there, even though she was a really sweet person. i hate the campus, i hate the state. everything is screaming i don't want to be here. which causes me to not understand.
i couldn't figure out why i didn't have a peace about something i loved to do. hence, i didn't do it, then why would i be here and everything go wrong? it just didn't make sense! i was living on campus with this junior in college-it was weird because i could tell that i made her uncomfortable by being in her space. my profs were "blown away" that i had gone to pepperdine, which was also uncomfortable. although i'm an extrovert, i don't like being the center of attention.
so then, i came to the conclusion that i should just suck it up because i'm only going to be here for 4 months and counting down. and then, came the revelation...
my family is the most important thing in my life. i would die for them, i would do anything for them and i always said, if i had to choose between something i love and my family (if they needed me), i'd pick my family. well, the time arrived and all the signs were pointing to what i had to do, but i kept trying, kept complaining because it's not what I wanted. oh, i went through the motions of i'm staying here for my family, but i wasn't happy about it because i'm an idiot and for some reason thought the woe is me attitude for the moment was attractive (not).
In Jeremiah 29, I found people just like me. The Israelites were in Babylon (which could be texas). They didn't really like it there either. They were going to suck it up and be there only for as long as necessary. But then the LORD said, "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. marry and have sons and daughters..also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile".
hmmm....they weren't just supposed to throw ashes in the air and say woe is me. they were supposed to LIVE. maybe God was saying, "if you give it a chance it won't be half bad, it may even turn out to be a really great time"
see last week i moved here and it just wasn't a good week ya know, my old housing coordinator i worked with as an RA at Pepperdine passed away along with my old pastor on the same day and then on top of it all, i move to texas. i get here and share a room with a girl on campus and it's just a situation where i can't live there, even though she was a really sweet person. i hate the campus, i hate the state. everything is screaming i don't want to be here. which causes me to not understand.
i couldn't figure out why i didn't have a peace about something i loved to do. hence, i didn't do it, then why would i be here and everything go wrong? it just didn't make sense! i was living on campus with this junior in college-it was weird because i could tell that i made her uncomfortable by being in her space. my profs were "blown away" that i had gone to pepperdine, which was also uncomfortable. although i'm an extrovert, i don't like being the center of attention.
so then, i came to the conclusion that i should just suck it up because i'm only going to be here for 4 months and counting down. and then, came the revelation...
my family is the most important thing in my life. i would die for them, i would do anything for them and i always said, if i had to choose between something i love and my family (if they needed me), i'd pick my family. well, the time arrived and all the signs were pointing to what i had to do, but i kept trying, kept complaining because it's not what I wanted. oh, i went through the motions of i'm staying here for my family, but i wasn't happy about it because i'm an idiot and for some reason thought the woe is me attitude for the moment was attractive (not).
In Jeremiah 29, I found people just like me. The Israelites were in Babylon (which could be texas). They didn't really like it there either. They were going to suck it up and be there only for as long as necessary. But then the LORD said, "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. marry and have sons and daughters..also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile".
hmmm....they weren't just supposed to throw ashes in the air and say woe is me. they were supposed to LIVE. maybe God was saying, "if you give it a chance it won't be half bad, it may even turn out to be a really great time"
