comfortable in my own skin

G’Day Mates! I write as I am now officially getting things ready to head to Australia in the beginning of the year. I have my work visa and am now looking for a plane ticket. it gets a little complicated when you have people you love around the world and wish to visit...and even though it looks like it should be on the way on MY map...it doesn’t exactly work like that with airlines- hence making it a little more complicated. We’ll find out what I’m doing probably when I get there. I had some time and now a visa- so i just took ann landers quote to heart when she said “the real trick is to stay alive as long as you live”-so I may as well feel alive and head down under.

i’m learning even here different ways to feel alive. for this story time with patty: have you ever run into those people where the following conversation goes something like this, OP (other person) “Hey Patty! How was your day?” Me: It was okay. it was kind of a hard day at work. OP: “oh yeah, i know what you mean because I.....20 minutes later after they take a breath. OP: So what’s next for you? Me: tells him/her. OP: “oh my gosh! i’m so jealous, i want to do that too and blah blah blah. 20 minutes later when they take another breath....Me: okay, well i’m going to go now. OP: okay, love you! Me: thanks. fast forward to the next week and hit repeat with the same person. yeah, if you’re thinking that attempting to gouge your eye out with a dull spoon is probably more interesting than having this conversation, you’re probably right. well, that was a little mean. i take some of it back.

i know we’ve all met these people and if we’re honest, we’ve even been that person in some point of our lives- the people whose souls aren’t at peace so we talk all the time? yeah, i’ve been there. what’s the point of that story? i don’t really know- i just know it now bothers me (that’s probably the real reason i wrote it- let’s just cut to the chase) and reminds me of the story i’ve told before with my friend aaron who told me that he didn’t need my opinion nor did he ask for it, so why in the world do i have to give it to him? probably because i truthfully wasn’t at peace with myself.

i was putting on my makeup a couple of weeks ago when i had an epiphany that hit me hard- as serious as a heart attack- i realised something has happened and i am no longer comfortable in my own skin. i used to be. and i knew it too. i don’t know how long it had been going on, but it had definitely happened. so, that moment i decided to not wear makeup for a month. it’s quite weird but it was really liberating. and i think it worked. there really isn’t a feeling like being comfortable in your own skin. being comfortable doesn’t mean being arrogant or proud nor does it mean settling for mediocrity and not striving to become a better person- because if you really know it all, is there really a point?

maybe it’s true that “one of the greatest...experiences is when he no longer tries to hide from himself but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is” Norman Vincent Peale

so,

i guess may we all find ourselves- find the good, the bad, the ugly, the great, the loving, the kind, the vices and all that’s in between on the journey of finding ourselves. and may we be comfortable in our own skin once again.

Love,
P